Memes

John Key goes to a science exhibition and is shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. The man in charge invites him to ask any question he likes.
John Key asks, "What will Australia be like in 100 years time .... ?"
The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives a printout, which the man reads, "The country is in good hands under the new Prime Minister, crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries."
He has another go, "What will China be like in 100 years time ..... ?"
Another print out, "The country will be the world's leading economy and everyone there will enjoy the highest standard of living in the world."
John Key then asks, "What will New Zealand be like in 100 years time .... ?"
The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action. The man gets a printout, but he's just stares at it.
"Come on .... !" says John Key, "What does it say ..... ?"
The man replies, "I don't know ......... ! ''
It's all in bloody Maori .... !"

on "Toxic Masculinity" with a slight Nth American flavour
Symptoms of toxic masculinity:
•Standing up to pee
•Enjoying a nice cigar with a single malt scotch
•Enjoying the company of your loyal dog
•Watching sports on a small tv in the other room while the wife watches Island Of Blind Date Kardashian Fashion Cooking on the 75" big screen
•Earning a living
•Protecting your family from harm
•Fixing and maintaining all the appliances and vehicles in the household
•Teaching your son or daughter how to ride a bike or throw a ball
•Admiring the natural way your wife nurtures your young children
•Happily wearing your clothes and 2 pair of shoes until they are worn out while silently observing your wife has dozens of shoes or outfits that she never wears
•Happily doing without the sleep, money, toys, hanging with friends, or dates with your wife that you had as a single man so you can watch your children's sporting events or school activities
Yes guys...we are destroying the world with our toxic masculinity

Below is a true story. I recounted it to a former vegan I met in a professional capacity today:

In a past life I worked in a meat works in rural NZ. One weekend I found myself on shift with my flatmate. I was running the boning room and flatty was in charge of a the slaughter floor.
The Rock radio station was brand new, and the plant had just started advertising on it that we were doing Bobby Calves.

Anyway, I received a malicious phone call (being the weekend the main phone rang through to the control room in the boning room).
This lady had heard our ad's on The Rock, and was going nuts at me, asking how I could kill those cute little Bobby Calves day after day.

I said, "I'm very sorry, but I don't kill them, I just cut them up. Andrew kills them, I'll put you through to him on the slaughter floor and hopefully he can answer your questions".

She screamed a bit at me then hung up. I guess she wasn't really that interested in how we killed them.
Considering it was a malicious phone call I told my boss on Monday. He was very attentive and asked how I responded. When I told him, he just face-palmed.