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Post by GO30 on Oct 24, 2024 14:26:48 GMT 12
Trying to open a simple bank account. One we can put money into, take it out via 2 cards and access to it via the web. Nothing tricky in any manner.
It is that painful, bizarre, plainly ridiculous and way more like that, than having a colonoscopy using a ball of barbed wire.
The biggest niggle seems to be I'm dealing with city folk who think rural works exactly like the city. As there is no postal service street addresses are not used and many simply don't have one. As we have no number only a road name they can't verify it. Everything goes to our P O Box. But sadly the Wellington city person can not grasp the concept people have no letterbox. They then said a power or water bill would work, we are 100% solar and roof water so no bills,again a concept they seem unable to grasp. Oh the rates bill will work, Oui, it has no street address what's that about? Fuck me dude, I've tried to tell you 6 bloody times.
I can see why so many don't change banks.
I'm now onto the Minister to ask why his/her bank is so fucking dumbarse. While there I'll also mention if it is that hard to change from a thieving Aussie bank to a NZ one is it any wonder this NZ bank will never ever be a serious contender.
3 days so far and no end in site.
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Post by Fogg on Oct 24, 2024 14:46:50 GMT 12
Which bank?
Maybe get a crypto account instead?
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Post by GO30 on Oct 24, 2024 15:50:27 GMT 12
Kiwi The problem is all the team there are city folk so assume the entire country works the same. The latest is I have to prove a street address. But we have no postal service so everything goes to a P O Box. They are unable to grasp that concept, as strange as that may seem. I rummaged and found a vets invoice for some pigs trotters for my new puppy. That is address to him, Bones, but has a street address on it. So I fired that off to them with a photo of Bones and asked if they needed Bones to write them a letter confirming he is a flat mate and did by some pigs trotters. I really do hope someone responds Yes  I doubt much of rural would know what crypto is. Besides this has now got that fecking bizarre it's become lots of fun, hence I hope like F they want the letter from Bones, they will get one Not too sure what their Minister will think though. Oh bugger, I forgot to use Bones pronouns, they all use them. I wonder what they will be? Woof would have to be one, what else could he use? Ball licker or Bum sniffer |
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Post by ComfortZone on Oct 24, 2024 17:12:24 GMT 12
speaking of banks, Rob Mc Culloch on the Aussie banks- one of them Did ANZ's CEO Mislead Parliament's Select Committee about it probably being NZ's "biggest importer of capital" & making "middle of the road" profits?My accounting has become a bit rusty, so readers in the profession can judge this Blog for themselves. The Chair of ANZ Bank (who used to be Chancellor of Auckland University!?) and its CEO told a Parliamentary Select Committee into Banking Competition yesterday that its $2 billion annual profits were "fair". CEO Watson told MPs the bank's shareholders had invested $17 billion into ANZ which meant it was probably NZ's "biggest importer of overseas capital .. In return for that $17 billion investment from our shareholders, we make just over $2 billion in net profit after tax each year .. That's a 12 per cent return on equity, which is middle of the road for most publicly listed companies in NZ".
Now take a look at ANZ's accounts for year ended March 2023 (downloadable below). They report profits of over $2 billion, "share capital" of $12 billion and "retained earnings" of $5 billion, giving total shareholder "equity" of $17 billion - which is the number CEO Watson appears to refer to. In other words, there never was $17 billion worth of funds that NZ has benefited from in the sense of it being "imported from overseas" from foreign shareholders. Instead $5 billion of that $17 billion are profits extracted from Kiwis, primarily from interest on their household mortgages. In my view, the CEO's claim that its "shareholders" are only getting a 12% return (being $2 billion / $17 billion) is misleading. The original size of their investment is closer to $12 billion, so the return on that investment is far higher.
Here's a simple example. Say you invest $1 million in a company that has monopoly powers. You make a whopping 25% return on your investment, being $250,000 per year. You retain all of those earnings in the company. After four years your balance sheet reads "share capital $1 million" and "retained earnings" of $1 million (being four years of earning profits of $250,000). That is, in only four years, your $1 million investment is now worth $2 million on the back of your monopoly powers. You get investigated by a Select Committee of MPs looking into competition in your industry. You tell them that you're making a "fair" return on your business - that you've invested $2 million in the business and are only making $250,000 a year, being a 12% return, which barely compensates for the risk. But that's not true. You're making a 25% annual return on your initial investment of $1 million.
ANZ bank is majority owned by Americans. Its giving them a high yield, probably because of less competition in NZ. The Americans never did invest $17 billion here. Much of that so-called "equity" comes from retained (oligopoly) profits made out of local Kiwis. I stand to be corrected & apologize for mistakes in my accounting. Should I not be mistaken, maybe its the CEO of ANZ who should apologize to the Kiwi public & MPs for what, in my opinion, may amount to playing with statistics and numbers to create confusion.
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Post by GO30 on Oct 25, 2024 15:15:14 GMT 12
Day 4 coming to an end and still no closer if you talk to a human. If you ask the human 'then why did I get a email saying all was good so lets go'? "Automated systems, they do that all the time". Another WTF that popped up is some Onboarding lecture thing. Apparently they need 30 min of my time to tell me how to run the business better and what products of theirs I'll need to set up for that to happen. They want to tell me or anyone how to run a business, the fuckers write in pure inner city suburb and can't even grasp the concept places in NZ have no letterboxes as they have no fucking postie. But then it is the organisation that thought naming a very far left extremist who hates most things was a good idea.I must remember that for our chat, maybe right at the start,it should shorten it nicely I hope |
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Post by GO30 on Oct 31, 2024 12:32:48 GMT 12
So 9 days later and I've pulled the pin on trying to open the most basic of basic accounts with Kiwibank. I also genuinely believe Kiwibank thinks 'Rural NZ' is just another conspiracy theory.
The sticking point is my street address. They want something showing my name with the road address. But as there is no postal service everything goes to a PO Box.
I found a invoice from the Vets showing both but that was rejected as the Vets,like 90% of others, capitalised the D in my name. KB rejected that.
I showed them the NAIT system which shows the street and my name, heavily watched and enforced by MPI and the European Union. KB rejected that and they are both owned by the same mob, the NZ Govt
I showed the the Companies Office - KB rejected that as acceptable and they are both owned by the same mob, the NZ Govt.
They insisted on something called MYIR. Never heard of it so asked the accountant who replied 'what would you like, I can change it at will. Currently it has Colway Place'. So I forwarded the entire convo to KB and noted their 'verification supplier' was at least 6 years out of date.
KB gave mea list of options, they then rejected everyone of them.
No credit was asked for, only the most basic of accounts, 2 eftpos cards and interweb banking.
If we got the account the only loser would be ANZ, for us it makes no difference what so ever if it is KB or ANZ, the only winner in it all would be Kiwibank.
What's even more a WTF? is someone inside Kiwibank intentionally changed my street address in the KB system to one that does not exist. Why, who the fuck knows.
But in this process it has been quiet enlightening as to why KB will never be able to take on the Aussies. It is insular, lacks common sense and nothing suggests anyone has ever left the inner city suburbs. Also with it's rejection of the arguably most verified options i.e. NAIT and the CO, I now genuinely believe the place lacks the clues required to be a serious bank, certainly business wise.
I've never experienced anything quite as bizarre as that.
So in an effort to achieve what we wanted 2 weeks ago i.e. leave profits in NZ rather than Aussie, last evening we started the process with TSB. Just got told the account will be open later today. TSB inside 24hrs easy peasy, Kiwibank 10 days of mind blowing WTF to get exactly no where.
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Post by muzled on Oct 31, 2024 12:43:14 GMT 12
I'm sure I started typing a reply to this a while back suggesting TSB. Clearly I didn't hit the go button.
If you call TSB you'll find you get an accent that sounds very similar to your own as well (although saying that probably makes me racist...)
Debit cards are farkn useless though, the number is printed on the back rather than embossed so they wear off.
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Post by GO30 on Oct 31, 2024 12:50:18 GMT 12
I'm sure I started typing a reply to this a while back suggesting TSB. Clearly I didn't hit the go button. If you call TSB you'll find you get an accent that sounds very similar to your own as well (although saying that probably makes me racist...) Debit cards are farkn useless though, the number is printed on the back rather than embossed so they wear off. The Wa uses TSB as her personal bank, I use KB hence I started there.
The people were OK to deal with but just did not listen and I very strongly suspect think the dairy fridge in the local New World Metro is rural NZ. They just could not grasp the concept some people do not have nor do they need street addresses. When chatting to a local who askes where we are we reply 'Dodackies old run off' most know exactly where it is.
KB now also print their cards rather than emboss. I suppose I now have to look forward to it becoming unusable  |
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mihit
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Post by mihit on Oct 31, 2024 16:55:31 GMT 12
Yeah well, kiwibank is the government eh, not sure why you'd expect it to work!
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Post by Cantab on Oct 31, 2024 17:35:14 GMT 12
I remember trying to deposit an American cheque with them a few years ago, despite pointing this out at the time, they took a week to realise it was foreign and decided they didn't accept foreign cheques.
There was another episode similar over a business type transaction, useless ability to deal with anyone other than a NZ beneficiary.
Sounds like they haven't improved, sort of wonder why they call themselves a bank?
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Post by GO30 on Nov 1, 2024 11:55:52 GMT 12
An update on the Kiwibank WTF? I was talking to my insurance broker yesterday and mentioned the KB thing, he laughed as any sane person would. I had a thought so asked 'Are you by a computor?', 'Yeap', 'Write me a letter using my name, spelt correctly, and address it to the CRA street address'. He did. I threw that at them and bugger me, yeap that is fine. The address relates to zero in their system, the whole convo to date and will show as a commercial addy. I could have used KB head office street address by the looks, in fact I tried but they hide KB's HQ addy. I must check my KB details shortly to see if they have changed. I had changed it to '23, Ulitsa Ilyinka, 103132, Moscow' to see if anything got said, Nope. That is a real address, got here and you'll find some building called the Kremlin I haven't told them about the TSB so I'll let them run to the end to see what more WTF they have planned. |
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mihit
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Post by mihit on Nov 1, 2024 12:45:32 GMT 12
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Post by GO30 on Nov 3, 2024 7:46:19 GMT 12
You utter prick
During this process I have tried to find out why they don't trust the Companies Office as there is all sorts of info and it is checked by the same people who own KB, but all I get is crickets. Everyone I know's 'go to' is the CO as it tells you much.
When sussing for KB addresses I never thought of the CO, bugger!!!
You prick 
The latest KB update has a hell twist but lets wait until tomorrow to verify that. If what happened just did, it makes a standard WTF? only about 5% of what it will be if it pans out as I think it will.
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Post by Fogg on Nov 12, 2024 14:33:03 GMT 12
Meanwhile, crypto is going gang-busters post-Trump victory.
Even the Fed is talking about buying up to 5% of the BTC asset base and other central banks around the world also seeking to add crypto to their balance sheets.
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Post by fish on Nov 12, 2024 15:12:12 GMT 12
Meanwhile, crypto is going gang-busters post-Trump victory. Even the Fed is talking about buying up to 5% of the BTC asset base and other central banks around the world also seeking to add crypto to their balance sheets. Was vaguely listening to something on the radio, apparently it is up 15% today, or since the election or something, and has hit $88k US a coin. I remember when people thought $15k was a lot... Some people have become very, very wealthy. |
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